All your works praise you, O Lord including the skies over Southern California

Posted on April 2, 2016 by Trinity Seasons

 

Psalm 145: 9 The Lord is loving to everyone *

and his compassion is over all his works.

10 All your works praise you, O Lord, *

and your faithful servants bless you.

11 They make known the glory of your kingdom *

and speak of your power;

12 That the peoples may know of your power *

and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.

13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom; *

your dominion endures throughout all ages.

14 The Lord is faithful in all his words *

and merciful in all his deeds.

Before beginning my morning readings today I prayed for presence – presence with God’s Word so that I might get back in touch with the pauses I used to encounter so frequently in the early days of blogging.  Of late, I have been questioning the usefulness of this exercise for my own spiritual formation and thinking of re-directing my writing energies to a different endeavor, a different story. But I haven’t done so.  Just thinking about it and find myself ever drawn to the Word and wondering what will float over my brain cells on any given day – and well, here I am writing about that.

Perhaps because of the prayer to be present with the Word, I was aware very early in the psalm reading that my eyes had lifted as I thought about the verse God is loving to everyone and his compassion is over all his works.  That means over all His works – the birds, bees, planet, skies, oceans.  Over all our Lord has compassion.  The Lord, God has domain over all creation and wishes it to be well. God is kind, compassionate, was delighted in all He created including the waters of the deep and the dome of the sky.

la-smog-jordansmall_640My family moved to Southern California from Northern California in the 1960’s. We lived in Arcadia for ten days before seeing mountains at our doorstep – the San Gabriel Mountains!  The air was that smoggy. Smog was a totally unknown thing to all of the kids, though my parents had some inkling. At going-away parties thrown for them from the small town of Chico, California they were given empty mason jars filled with ‘fresh air.’  I recall my eyes itching a lot – but again, I was a kid and thought nothing more than this is just how it was in our new home.  When we discovered we had mountains within walking distance of our backyard I was delighted, but the fact that I hadn’t seen them for 10 days didn’t register.

Here’s a short piece that describes the conditions we moved into in the late 1960’s written by Sarah Gardner of RadioGardner:

Los Angeles is a natural pollution trap. The surrounding mountains combine with temperature inversions to trap dirty air. Early on, smoke and fumes from steel and chemical plants, oil refineries and backyard trash incinerators – legal until the late 1950s – plagued the city.

As did pollution from automobiles. Los Angeles County had more than a million vehicles on the road as early as 1940. Just 10 years later, that number more than doubled as the post-war LA population and economy boomed.

… it wasn’t until 1975 that the U.S. required new cars to have catalytic converters, “the key piece of technology that allowed everything to change,” according to Mary Nichols, chairman of California’s Air Resources Board. In between, there were frustrating years of scientific research, industry denial, politics, protest and an unwavering attachment to the automobile.

City leaders, including the Chamber of Commerce, realized that air pollution threatened tourism, real estate and agriculture.

Aha!  City leaders realized the negative effects of the smog on business and identified people’s role in messing up the air almost to the point of no return. Los Angeles had the worse air in the 1950’s and 1960’s because of the way the basin was shaped – God’s creation – but also because of  the habits of the people who lived there. The toxicity from automobiles and the auto-related industries alongside massive population growth was all a human-made catastrophe.

With all the changes mandated over the next 20 years, air quality in Los Angeles has never been better.  It took over 20 years but in the relatively short period of time the air was cleaned up and is now the cleanest it has ever been. It is astounding, actually – a true testament to our ability to reverse human-made disasters like air quality and climate change.  God calls us to be accountable and participate in the healing of His creation.

In all the years between 1976 and today it was only rose paradeon New Year’s Day when the winds blew away enough smog to not just see the mountains, but too, to see them in detail. New Year’s Day in Pasadena somehow was reliably, predictably stellar. Crisp, clear blue skies – no rain – green mountains, temperatures in the upper 60’s. Locals used to say it was because of the national TV broadcast of The Tournament of Roses that showed LA at its best, encouraging too many folks to move to the area. Newcomers thought LA always looked like it did on January 1.  It didn’t for years, but now it does.

God does have domain over all of His creation and wishes it  – like us – to be well.  God is kind and compassionate but we have to and do play a part in the wellness of ourselves and our environment.  We can’t just willy nilly rely on God’s grace to make us well.  We can pray to know God’s will for us is to be well – just as the environment and earth are to be well – but to tap into that available healing grace, we have to acknowledge our role in the illness, the disease, the toxic environment, the broken trust, the severed relationship. None of those who established Los Angeles as the dynamic community it did envisioned what a mess the air would come to be.  It seemed to many to be just a result of progress. Recall my parent’s friends giving us the mason jars in jest – that’s just what you get in LA.

Sometimes brokenness and illness is simply inherited – passed from one generation to the next without pause.  And illness and brokenness will perpetuate until someone, peoples, governments, God’s church, participates in the fix – enjoins God’s grace by prayer and action to heal.

God’s dominion endures through generations, eternally as the psalm reminds us today. For it to flourish as He willed, we must participate.  As the leaders in LA did over 20 years ago, suggesting the peoples trusted things could change to bring back the “glorious san gabriel mtssplendor” of God’s kingdom in Southern California.

Personal application? What part of my brokenness am I responsible for? If I inherited some brokenness, what can I do to stop living into it? What can I do with God’s grace to change how I think about something? How I am living my story for God’s glory?

Praise Him.

Saturday of Easter Week Lectionary Readings: AM Psalm 145; PM Psalm 104
Exod. 13:17-14:4; 2 Cor. 4:16-5:10; Mark 12:18-27

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May we have the persistent faith of Mary Magdalene and the surprised belief of Peter and John

Posted on March 28, 2016 by Trinity Seasons
Now I should remind you, brothers and sisters,* of the good news*that I proclaimed to you, which you in turn received, in which also you stand, 2through which also you are being saved, if you hold firmly to the message that I proclaimed to you—unless you have come to believe in vain.
3 For I handed on to you as of first importance what I in turn had received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures,4and that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures…

 

This was the epistle reading from today’s lectionary, the first Monday after Easter Sunday, and my first thought was how lovely it is when God gets right back to me with His Word. So reliable the Lord is in answering petitions, prayers, even thought bubbles that haven’t been quite fully composed to send His way in a prayer.

So it was that I awakened this morning with the thought bubble that had gone to bed with me. What ‘good news’ was heard by those who worshiped in God’s church yesterday? And were those who had celebrated the good news with brothers and sisters of the same faith waking this morning with a renewed mind? Were they thinking differently, if at all, about how they live as a believer in Jesus Christ? Did only a few, or many or none at all leave worship convicted by the Word, and specifically John’s Gospel account in which mary-magdalene-tells-peter-john-1103978-printMary Magdalene proclaimed the good news of Jesus’ resurrection to the astonished disciples, putting in motion a forever changed world?  Thy kingdom came, thy will was done.

This letter from Paul to the first Christians in Corinth felt like an auto-reply to my formulating email-to-God question about what difference, if any at all, did hearing the good news of Jesus’ resurrection on Easter Sunday make to those who believe in God, who is Father, God who is Son, God who is Holy Spirit, but do not follow Jesus as a disciple on the big scale and on a smaller scale who do not dwell in the Lord’s Word and house regularly? How firmly were those in the pews yesterday holding onto the message proclaimed?  Did they grab a hold of the message at all?  Was the message proclaimed?

Paul was recalling with his church community how the good news that they heard and knew – and that he had delivered to them – is expected to be manifesting – how their lives as God’s church were to be transforming and becoming sanctified.  How they shall, then, be living. A letter that illustrates the power of God’s Word – of proclamation of the gospel – to convict the hearts and minds of God’s people.

CEOsSo, what better day than yesterday when Christian houses were filled to the brim with believers and seekers, sinners and saints to hear that gospel – the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ according to John. Filled and brimming over with what church folk refer to as C&E Christians, or elsewhere, CEO’s – Christmas and Easter Only (pejoratively referred to as ‘cheasters’) – those who show up to worship the Lord, God on Christmas and Easter.

In my experience, I have seen fewer and fewer of these believers at Christmas. The Barna Group (a Christian-based research institute) supports my personal observation in a study that indicated while attendance does go up at Christmas, it is amongst regular worshipers more than CEO’s.  I think that holy day has been so co-opted by the culture, that most Western people who identify as Christian feel no need to celebrate the birth of Jesus in a religious setting.  Family gatherings and gift giving and carol singing and stories about the magic of Christmas seem to satisfy.

Easter remains the bigger draw of the two holidays amongst CEO’s. While much of the holy day has, like Christmas, been co-opted by the culture – Spring, New Life, Equinox, bunnies, eggs, brunches, hats – most Americans do consider Easter a religious holiday. That’s the good news but just one part of the story.  Though identified as a religious holiday, most Americans – most of those CEOs in our pews yesterday – correctly identify the meaning of Easter. From the Barna Study:

In response to a free-response query, most Americans described Easter as a religious celebration. Two out of every three Americans (67%) mention some type of theistic religious element. Common responses included describing it as a Christian holiday, a celebration of God or Jesus, a celebration of Passover, a holy day, or a special time for church or worship attendance.

Even within the religious definitions offered by Americans there is a certain degree of confusion: 2% of Americans said that Easter is about the “birth of Christ”; another 2% indicated it was about the “rebirth of Jesus”; and 1% said it is a celebration of “the second coming of Jesus.”

I am certain that folks who left my worship community yesterday heard the gospel proclaimed in a way that would erase any confusion they might have had coming into worship about the meaning of Easter.  Christ is risen, Christ is risen indeed! we recited together.

But I wonder if the message – once again clarified – took hold of any CEO’s hearts?  Did it grip them, awe them, surprise them as we prayed in the Prayers of the People,

May we here today have the persistent faith of Mary Magdalene and the surprised belief of Peter and John

I suppose time will tell.

I’m interested because the call that came to me to serve the gospel in God’s church emerged out of an interest and passion for how the Holy Spirit has agency in God’s people – how a believer is nudged on from his or her own baptism by grace to know God more deeply, how to be like Jesus Christ, to live as He would have us live. It’s called Christian formation – sanctification -discipleship.  It’s about living into and out of our baptismal identity, not worshiping it on Sundays only, or only twice a year.  How to dwell in the Lord’s house and Word, while otherwise renting space in the world into which we were born. I call it Monday through Saturday discipleship, for Sunday is the Lord’s Day – the one day a week not about me, but the Lord, God.

ceoSo I can’t help but wonder what preachers and pastors in God’s church could be doing differently on Easter Sundays to usher in a new season for God’s church. One in which most Americans will not only identify the meaning of Easter correctly, but also have moved out of the CEO category to regular worship.  What could be said on Easter Sunday that would capture their imagination enough to want to live out what they know to be true – that there’s a new life, a new way of being in the world because of what Jesus did on the cross for them?

I wonder what it would take to grab the hearts and minds of all these beloved seekers – these CEO’s, these doubting Thomas’, these children and grandchildren, these brothers and sisters, neighbors and workmates who showed up yesterday in our churches –  so that today, this first Monday after Easter, their  lives as believers have begun anew, following him not only just Monday through Saturday, but also all the blessed year long – Easter through Christmas.

Christ is risen, Christ is risen indeed!

Praise Him.

Monday Daily Office Lectionary: AM Psalm 93, 98; PM Psalm 66
Exod. 12:14-27; 1 Cor. 15:1-11; Mark 16:1-8

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‘Thoughts and Prayers’, but mostly just prayers

Posted on March 22, 2016 by Trinity Seasons

In my email this morning I received great news from a friend who was diagnosed with an invasive cancer just a few months ago  – a cancer of which she is now officially clear.  A prayed for but unexpected outcome given the severity of the original diagnosis.

prayerAt the Epistle this morning, I couldn’t help but recall my friend’s recent trial and the role prayer played in the good news she relayed today.

When she learned of the cancer – which she detected long before the doctors and had insisted on a biopsy despite the physicians advice to wait and see how it changed or not over time – she was scared but not daunted.

My friend is a skeptical believer. She has an abiding faith, but a worshiping community has not been a part of her adult life and she has some disdain for ‘organized religion,’ altogether.

My friend is a mind over matter, rise above, don’t dwell on the negative, get up and do the right thing. In all the years of knowing her she has never asked for help and at the same time helps and does for everyone else. She is the one who gives the grandest of birthday parties, wedding showers, baby showers, dinner parties with ease and grace. She’s a fabulous ‘doer’, has worked full time as a project engineer, raised two great kids, and helped with four grandkids, played a competitive game of tennis, traveled the world. All with an acerbic wit, great laugh and joyful spirit. She’s a good listener.

And though quite gregarious and a people person, she is also quite private. I hadn’t learned of her diagnosis directly but from one of her closer friends. And what had been shared with me was dire – the location and depth and stage of the cancer was cause for worry. And I was warned that my friend wasn’t taking calls, not sharing the news with many, that she was scared herself but determined and that the best way to reach out was to send her a note letting her know she was in my ‘thoughts.’

I’ve always been intrigued by that phrase, “you are in my thoughts and prayers,” and wondered if ‘thoughts’ was an addition made in the post-Christian modern era. I wonder if in older correspondence we would even see the word ‘thoughts’ in a post script or sign off – rather than the simple, ‘you are in my prayers.’ I suppose to most there’s not a big difference – nothing to quibble over – and the duality of the phrase allows someone to express to a wary believer the assurance that the energy towards healing or comfort emanates from two places – the mind and the heart (where the Spirit lives renewing our minds).

I digress. Point is I had some reservation about the best way to contact my friend – and what thought words and prayer words might be of comfort. I prayed about it and decided to send her some prayers – to say herself. I knew of no other way to let her know she was not alone – that I, along with so many others, were intentionally putting out the good energy, as she might say, that she would be healed – that she would be well. And that she was and always had been in the palm of His hand. I didn’t know if she would think she needed these prayers right now – that she needed to be aware that the Holy Spirit was part of the mix whether she knew it or not.

And my prayers for her were helped, too. I enlisted my worship community to pray for her on a regular basis. When I shared her story with them, they expressed their compassion by offering to me a prayer shawl to give my friend for her time in the hospital and recovery at home.

prayer-shawl-4I took to my friend my prayers, the prayer shawl and the prayers from my worship community. She wasn’t seeing visitors, so I left it on her front porch. I did not expect anything from her – and had told her so in the note – that there was no need to acknowledge anything right now – to just be comforted and know that she was not alone. To be still. To breathe. To pray.

The note of thanksgiving I received from her later that day brought tears to my eyes. She was still in the thick of the mess – nothing yet fully eradicated and lots still unknown.   She said she was comforted and that the people of my worship community that had made the shawl had a ‘special place in her heart,’ and no matter the outcome of the coming weeks, it was something she would treasure. She was so gracious – so open to receiving comfort, to receiving help, to receiving healing prayers.

That is hard to do for a person who is of the mind-over-matter inclination. When someone is mind-over-matter, whatever successes in life and set backs a person experiences are attributed to will power, to discipline, are earned or deserved, and due to something that person alone is responsible for doing or not doing. So, accepting help in any form can signal weakness and is thus, not invited.  Including help in the form of comfort or prayer.

That is why her note brought tears. My friend was authentically open to receiving the prayers. I wrote back to her this,

So glad you liked – I picked that one for you – the others were ‘too busy’ with colors – I have always loved that Irish knit cable pattern. Enjoy. I will be sure to pass on to the ladies of the Prayer Shawl Ministry your appreciation.

Good to hear you are taking this one day at a time. Don’t let results, or no results, or internet or friends or anything push you past the evolving nature of the cancer that is within. You aren’t one to rush things, generally – so your measured and focused approach to finding the best way to get those nasty bad cells out of your body, seems wise.  Just keep up the good deep breathing and get good rest.

Wonder what your grandbabies think of all this?  I bet there has to be some humor in the mix – something they’ve said or noticed – that has brought a smile to your face.  You are blessed to have come to know your little ones so well, so that now in this temporary season of physical setback, they can attend to you in the loving way you have attended to them – let’s them be sort of ‘grown up’ like.

Keeping you and your well being ever before me in prayer.

Fast forward to this morning and the blessed news of her full recovery. And unlike receiving the news of her diagnosis through the grapevine and in a sort of hush-hush manner, this news came directly from my friend who had kept all of her friends posted through the months via email.

She was so open and transparent through this process, sharing her fears and her resolve, asking for thoughts and prayers.  Asking for help. She didn’t hole up and hide away to take care of it all on her own.  She didn’t wallow in her pain, no woe-is-me, or why-me. No anger towards the medical system and more importantly, towards God.

Some mind-over-matter people need only one bad diagnosis to forever refute the existence of God – just proof to them that there is none. But not my friend – not even close.

And her email this morning was infused with her knowledge that the eradication of the cancer was due in no small part to,

“…all the “expressions of love and support – they mean the world to me and I am very clear that they helped me get to this very positive place,”

Just what Paul and Timothy wrote to the church in Corinth in today’s Epistle it seems to me.

9Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death so that we would rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. 10He who rescued us from so deadly a peril will continue to rescue us; on him we have set our hope that he will rescue us again, 11as you also join in helping us by your prayers, so that many will give thanks on our* behalf for the blessing granted to us through the prayers of many.

My friend had to come to the place on her own to know that she needed God – needed prayer to navigate this time of physical peril. The Holy Spirit was in the mix, whether she knew it or not, working through the friends and family and God’s church to break through to comfort and help her through.

And my friend, like Paul, opened up, accepted the prayers (her words “expressions of love and support”) and on this glorious second day of Holy Week and days before we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ , my friend knows through every cell of her being that our prayers helped heal and renew her.

Praise Him.

Tuesday Lectionary Readings: AM Psalm 6, 12; PM Psalm 94
Lam. 1:17-22; 2 Cor. 1:8-22; Mark 11:27-33

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Worship: not a show, so show-offs need not apply

Posted on March 15, 2016 by Trinity Seasons

1 Corinthians 14:38 As in all the churches of the saints, 39So, my friends,* be eager to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues; 40but all things should be done decently and in order.

Paul is writing today to the churches from the perspective of the visitor. The stranger. The one who drops in just to see what goes on inside.  He holds up a mirror to the church in Corinth for them to see they appear to be putting on a show – an act – lots of bells and whistles to their behavior as ‘church.’ And he warns against appearing too unwelcoming, too haughty, not accessible and perhaps even vacuous – all the show with little or no meaning attached.

In Paul’s day it was the practice of speaking in tongues and prophecy to which he was referring.  And it looked to him that a visitor might see something like this bunch – a photo I found of a ‘charismatic’ church of the 1950’s speaking in tongues. Not terribly inviting looking is it?  Who would feel comfortable walking into this group for a first time?tongues

It is helpful to look at how we are living as a church community from the perspective of the the unchurched and the seeker. When we hold the mirror up, as Paul is doing to the church in Corinth, it can look pretty silly, exclusive, self-righteous. People going through motions just for the sake of appearance – it looks religious, the people look like they know or have something others don’t.

Worship, Paul says, is about God, not about you. Not about me.  God’s church is called to make disciples of Jesus Christ, not disciples of those performing as religious people. Worship should be done “decently and in order”.

That’s what many would say about my tradition’s liturgy – it guides worship in a decent and orderly manner.  The Book of Common Prayer (BCP) and the accompanying hymnal which ground our liturgies were composed of scripture and traditions from the apostolic age, and are to my mind, the closest rendition of early church practice in the English language.  Closest to the kind of churches Paul was founding and guiding.

And yet.  Being a church close to the apostolic tradition and considered decent and orderly does not have the appeal it once had.  For visitors and seekers the decent, orderly fashion of the liturgy is confusing, pedantic, over-ritualized and off-putting.  And at the Eucharist, which is the focus of our Lord’s Day worship, newcomers are often wary to approach the table, uncertain if they are welcome.  The visitor to today’s church, could feel just like the visitors to the church in Corinth – excluded, an outsider, with no clue how to ‘do’ worship in this particular place.

ecusa-a (2)Once The Episcopal Church took the seriously declining numbers seriously, a concerted effort was put in motion, nationally, to be considered more welcoming and accessible.  To that end, changes were made in practical and theological areas for how we ‘do’ church, including Worship. A few examples: we employ a wider variety of music, we print out the service in full rather than flipping pages through the Book of Common Prayer, we invite all baptized Christians to the table, and we speak about God in gender-neutral terms.

We didn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, but added to out liturgical foundation, materials that speak to the changing demographics and cultures in God’s church. And we looked at our tradition from the perspective of baptism – that is, that our mission as church is not to just welcome willy nilly to Sunday worship, but to help one and all to live out their baptism in Jesus Christ, as followers of Jesus – Monday through Saturday.  With baptism as the defining feature of our worship we see the gathering of God’s people on the Lord’s Day quite differently.  We are there to encourage one another, to welcome ‘the other’ to know how to live as a disciple, not a church goer.  We gather to be renewed by the Holy Spirit in communion to go out into the world to do God’s work in the world.

Big changes in my tradition but I am not sure the visitor or seeker not raised as a Christian or in The Episcopal Church feels more welcomed than before.  The way we ‘do’ church is so different than what seems to appeal to seekers, today.

At least to visitors or seekers looking only for a Sunday ‘churchy’ experience, not a life-style change that makes their baptism the foundation for living in the world.

Big BoxThe Big Box Church is what some have named churches who aggressively go after such seekers and newcomers, whose mission or purpose seems entirely focused on getting new folks in the door. There is no liturgy, so to speak, there is no Eucharist. Rather worship is akin to a concert-like gathering complete with hip looking praise bands on stages, video back drops, light shows and featured ‘prophetizers’ Quite a contrast not only to what my tradition offers, but also to Paul’s recommended ‘decent and orderly’ church.

In Paul’s day I imagine the tongue speakers and prophets would have been quite entertaining to listen to and put on quite a show. But what Paul was warning against was that the church in acting out this way was essentially preaching to themselves. Do church this way. Copy me.  Imitate me.  Showy.  It was all about them.

That’s how the big-box churches feel to me – its about the cast of characters up on the stage who invite us to know God like they do, to have Jesus in our hearts like they do. Look like me, be like me, and you will know the glory of God in your life.

Box churches with all the bells and whistles aren’t a bad thing – they do offer the glory to God, but I wonder how they help – or not – form and mature God’s church, God’s people. Just as I wonder whether an old-school decent and orderly version of church is helping, or not form and mature God’s people.

All I know is that at the local level, in my little corner of the world, my parish is growing. Seekers from all walks of life have come into the church doors, found a welcoming community with an accessible liturgy that invites their participation.

Maybe that’s the difference.  Participation.  The church Paul was writing to had gotten carried away with themselves.  They were doing all the church stuff and visitors, in his view, would have been put off by this.  A worship experience that requires full participation in prayer, music, the proclamation of the Gospel and in table fellowship – the Eucharist – is one grounded in the idea of the priesthood of all believers.

Both and, again.  God’s church needs all the help it can get to bring new believers to Him. But church leaders have more responsibility than to just attract folks to Sunday worship.

It is a good thing to hold up the mirror to our worship services, as Paul did with Corinth, to see just to whom we really are preaching and teaching.  Is our worship about the people leading it or is it about God? Who do we let participate?  Who do we invite to the table?

And after engaging in worship has the visitor left with some idea that our church would be a place to grow as a disciple?  Would they have the sense that this place is where they can learn to walk the walk?  It is the call put on God’s church after all – the great commission  – the mission of the church is to make disciples of Jesus.  Not of ourselves.

Praise Him.

Tuesday Daily Office Lectionary: AM Psalm [120], 121, 122, 123; PM Psalm 124, 125, 126, [127]
Exod. 5:1-6:1; 1 Cor. 14:20-33a,39-40; Mark 9:42-50

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What’s in a name?

Posted on March 11, 2016 by Trinity Seasons

Mark 9:2 Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and John, and led them up a high mountain apart, by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, 3and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no one* on earth could bleach them. 4And there appeared to them Elijah with Moses, who were talking with Jesus. 5Then Peter said to Jesus, ‘Rabbi, it is good for us to be here; let us make three dwellings,* one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.’ 6He did not know what to say, for they were terrified. 7Then a cloud overshadowed them, and from the cloud there came a voice, ‘This is my Son, the Beloved;* listen to him!’ 8Suddenly when they looked around, they saw no one with them any more, but only Jesus.

Church of the Transfiguration

The Church of the Transfiguration

What’s in a name? The church I grew up in was named after this event in the gospel, the Transfiguration. For those not clear on Transfiguration, as I was for most of the years I attended the church of my youth, here is the first part of the definition according to Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church:

Transfiguration, the. The appearing of the Lord in glory during His earthly life, related in the first three Gospels and alluded to in 2 Peter.  This vision of the Lord, transfigured, with Moses and Eliijah, was witnessed by Sts Peter, James, and John and is described they the Evangelists as a historic event…(1648)

It wasn’t until the last years of worshiping in this parish that I even thought to know what was behind the name.  And that prompt was simply because a visitor asked me if the church was a legitimate Episcopal church.  He had just moved to the area and was puzzled by the name, having concluded it was some sort of hippie-dippie west coast nomenclature. And although I had vague recollections of celebrating the Transfiguration on the last Sunday of Epiphany, I really had connected no dots to the theological significance of the event.  The name was never unpacked for me in all of the bible studies, worship, and sermons I was exposed to in my youth at the Church of the Transfiguration.

I don’t think my ignorance about the church name was that odd, anymore than the visitor’s who was also raised in The Episcopal Church. But he was raised in a different part of the country where most parishes followed suit with the Anglican tradition of naming after Saints, biblical and extra-biblical, and concepts (Grace, Trinity, Epiphany, Ascension).  In dioceses that have a history in America dating back to Colonial times, most parish names fall within the first 25 of the 12o plus names of parishes across the country, as below.

  1. Christ  – 527
  2. St. John –  524
  3. Trinity  – 520
  4. St. Paul  – 488
  5. St. Andrew – 311
  6. Grace – 281
  7. St. James – 276
  8. St. Luke – 261
  9. St. Mark – 244
  10. All Saints – 237
  11. St. Peter – 210
  12. St. Mary – 206
  13. St. Stephen – 173
  14. Good Shepherd – 170
  15. St. Thomas – 149
  16. Chapel – 146
  17. St. Michael – 128
  18. St. Matthew – 123
  19. St. George – 101
  20. St. Francis – 95
  21. St. Alban – 92
  22. Ascension -91
  23. Epiphany – 91
  24. Emmanuel – 89
  25. St. Philip – 85

So what is in a name – a church name  – and how does it inform our faith formation? Does it? Should it?

I think parish leaders are remiss to not share the story of a parish name and weave it into the fabric of faith formation for all of the community.  To not do so is a bit like a parent naming a child and never telling them why.  Even if the name doesn’t have the grandest of histories in the parent’s view – or the parish leader’s view – the story should be shared, told, unpacked.

Just as there are stories behind the names we are given at birth, the stories behind our worshiping communities have potential for shaping and maturing us, in some way.

story behind nameI went through a stage where I hated my name and tried very hard to get people to call me by my middle name. I thought my first name was ‘too young’ sounding in those years when I wanted to be taken seriously.  I was all of twelve when I tried to make the switch, and though quite young, I was looking ahead at life as a professional this or that and thought my first name would not do – wouldn’t get me there.

Needless to say, no one cooperated.  My first name stuck.  Not many this day even know my middle name.

But during that time, my parents embellished the story behind my name – trying to convince me that I was wrong about it sounding childlike, telling me grand stories of how they landed upon it – romaticizing it to great extent.  I appreciated hearing those stories – the story behind the story- of how they picked my name – how it was the only name the two of them agreed to almost in unison.  I came to appreciate my name and the story behind it helped me know myself a bit more deeply.  How shallow-minded I had been to want to discard it because it sounded odd and youngish and not serious enough for me, myself and I. Ugh.

Well, I think that same dynamic was at work when my friend asked me about my parish’s name, the Transfiguration.  It sounded odd to him – couldn’t have been an Episcopal Church – no “St” before or high theological concept like Grace or Trinity.  He had presumed it a west-coast hippie-dippie odd duck. But his query lead us to uncover the story of Transfiguration.  It is a good parish name.  A wonderful one, actually, for teaching a Christian community a bit more about who they are and what they believe.

What do you know about the saint or concept your parish is named after?

Teaching moments – that’s all this is about.  As parents, as church leaders, I think it good to be aware of all the teaching moments that come our way and make good effort to not take any of the important stuff for granted.  Like our names and our stories.

Praise Him.

Friday Daily Office Lectionary:

AM Psalm 95 [for the Invitatory] 102; PM Psalm 107:1-32
Exod. 2:1-22; 1 Cor. 12:27-13:3; Mark 9:2-13

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When it comes to justice, God is supreme – not the court

Posted on March 10, 2016 by Trinity Seasons

Exodus 1:15 The king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shiphrah and the other Puah, 16‘When you act as midwives to the Hebrew women, and see them on the birthstool, if it is a boy, kill him; but if it is a girl, she shall live.’ 17But the midwives feared God; they did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but they let the boys live. 18So the king of Egypt summoned the midwives and said to them, ‘Why have you done this, and allowed the boys to live?’ 19The midwives said to Pharaoh, ‘Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women; for they are vigorous and give birth before the midwife comes to them.’20So God dealt well with the midwives; and the people multiplied and became very strong. 21And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families. 22Then Pharaoh commanded all his people, ‘Every boy that is born to the Hebrews* you shall throw into the Nile, but you shall let every girl live.’

So, God. Paused here today recollecting a teaching I heard recently that tipped me off to what this coupling – and also the ‘but God’ word coupling – signifies in scripture. Whatever follows so God or but God, is divine intervention. The words move the story along from the point of view of the human person to God’s point of view. God intervenes in the minutiae of the daily lives of God’s people in order that God’s will and plan for God’s creation will be realized.

But GodBut God is the tip off in scripture that God is going to mix things up – get His people back on track, prevent irredeemable actions that thwart His intentions for the world. As in today’s Old Testament story. Pharoah thinks the eradication of male Israelites will keep numbers down so God’s people won’t be threat to his power. But God intervenes through the heart and minds of the midwives. They just can’t do what they were ordered to do. And this makes the way for Moses to participate in God’s story, offering his life for God’s glory.

Sometimes, too, God lets it be – let’s us mess up our own stories, not intervening when we pray He would.  That side of the equation – when God doesn’t appear to intervene to prevent some tragedy or deprivation – is pretty tough to comprehend.

There’s a new book (Three Generations,No Imbeciles: Eugenics, the Supreme Court, and Buck v. Bell by Paul Lombardo) that is stirring up conversation about our Supreme Court and the investment Americans have made in its role as the ultimate adjudicator of supreme, ultimate justice.

The book recounts the horrific chapter of our history in the late 19th and early 20th centuries when a new mental construct had gripped the minds of many of our country’s leaders. Eugenics. It was a theory that had its roots in Darwin’s theory of evolution which sought to explain the development of plant and animal species. Francis Galton – considered the founder of the philosophy and a half-cousin of Darwin, saw in evolutionary theory application for the human species. He believed that desirable traits were hereditary, citing biographical studies as indicators. The book focuses on one story to tell the bigger story and in that story there’s a moment where a person of faith has to wonder why God didn’t intervene. Or did He?

One horrific outcome of the Eugenics philosophy was that state governments were allowed to sterilize people they deemed mentally incompetent. And most states executed this right, though in states where there were large Roman Catholic populations – like Louisiana – sterilizations were not advocated.

There was a test case, Buck vs Bell.  Here’s a very brief recap of that story.  A young woman, Carrie Buck, was made a ward of the state because her single mother could not provide. She was placed in a foster home where she was treated not like a child but as an indentured servant. She is raped at the foster home at the age of 14 by a family member. Foster family petitions government to have her deemed ‘mentally incompetent’ to avoid the shame of their family member having raped her. She’s institutionalized with others ruled by the state to be ‘slow,’ (unbelievably, the three categories of mental incompetence at that time were imbecile, moron, and idiot).  Carrie delivers the baby while institutionalized. Foster family takes the baby away from her. Institution now wants to sterilize her because she falls in that category – in their minds – of not being worthy to procreate any longer. Virgina law has a provision that before the state can sterilize, the person must be represented before a judge to argue against sterilizatoin – basically to make their case. State court rules in favor of the institution, which bumps the appeal up to the Supreme Court.

It is here where but God is missed. No but God divine intervention. Just the opposite. Revered Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes not only writes the majority opinion supporting the lower court’s decision to uphold the right of the state to sterilize this young woman – who was not mentally incompetent – but does so in the most offensive, aggregious manner. “Three generations of imbeciles is enough” Holmes writes.

There are a hundred different ways to unpack this story but the author of this book has looked at the how this erroneous theory, Eugenics, played out in our justice system. In the author’s view, the Supreme Court is our country’s temple – the presumed non-political body that is to protect the weak against the strong, where justice is realized for all. And so to him, the court decision to uphold sterilization and to advocate for it at the same time served as an example of how the court gets it wrong. It also peels the onion back on the men and women who serve on the bench. Holmes has been revered as the most progressive of justices, earning the nickname “the Great Dissenter” for how often he opposed his fellow justices in their opinions, writing eloquently and passionately for the weak against the strong. Holmes is remembered as one of the court’s most eloquent and outspoken justices.

But here’s the thing. In the telling of this story through the lens of the adjudicators – no matter how offensive and unjust they were – the reader reads Carrie Buck’s story unfairly. Maybe not unfairly but there’s little room for seeing a but God moment in Carrie’s life.

And it is the individual lives of God’s people where it is most easy to see, to know, to sense, but God moments, I think.  That God did not seem to intervene here – or in other tragic, horrific, unimaginable events of un-justice through time, doesn’t mean that He’s not there – saving, loving, sending grace upon grace.

So, back to Carrie Buck and the story that the author of the book told but suggested that the injustice that fell upon her was what defined her.

But God? 

We learn that after she was sterilized – painfully – she was released from the institution and went on to marry and work in the service industry. At the end of her life, her roommate in an elderly care facility recollected how Carrie would start each day with the newspaper and the crossword puzzle. Clearly, not and was never, an ‘imbecile.’

So. I wonder.

Certainly the Lord, God showed up for Carrie. She was not beaten down to the point of no return. I don’t think it possible to have had the productive, loving life she had without grace showing up at her doorstep. So God, intervened – at least in Carrie’s life. That’s how I heard her story.

Listening to the author recount the tale in an interview, I kept my ears tuned for the but God moment – when the point of view of the story would be switched up from that of the fallen man’s to God’s. It didn’t come. Instead I heard a litany of one insult after another executed by men who should have known better – who even I believed knew better – Holmes, Teddy Roosevelt, and others. And, too, I heard the lament of the author – how could one of the men he most looked to in his pursuit of justice, Oliver Wendell Holmes, have been so wrong?

But there’s little room for but God moment’s in the stories of men and women who believe they are better than, who believe they are in control, who believe they have power because they have earned it, who believe they are smarter than, who believe they have no need for God. Little room for God to make His way past the enormous egos and self righteousness of men and women who believe, bottom line, that they are different  -that they have things all figured out. This goes for people not only in governments and courts, but also in our churches, too.  There aren’t many but God moments in the Pharisees’ stories.

The Supreme Court is not the temple. It is not the place where all will get justice. It is made up of fallen, flawed, broken people – not smarter, better, people. For Americans to invest so much hope and expectation in this institution and in the justices who sit on its bench, is to invest hope in an idol – a false god.

Where did God intervene during this period? One place was in the state of Louisiana where there was a large Roman Catholic population. God worked through the hearts and minds of church leadership as he did with the midwives to prevent the flawed theory from manifesting in a sterilization law, there.

I think it takes some digging to locate God in tragic stories such as Carrie’s – and the thousands of immigrants of a later period who were barred admission to America because quotas had been set based upon the flawed theory of Eugenics.  But I believe it is in the depths where God does intervene and work.  But God moments attack at the core – the roots.

I appreciate the story told in Lombardo’s book.  We have to know these stories of injustice, have our eyes opened to see that those we thought of as being one way, were in truth quite another. But the story didn’t move me to the place where perhaps the author intended.  My hope doesn’t rest in the people, but in the Lord.  The author hopes the story will help the country see how important it is to have the ‘right’ people on the bench.  And while I don’t disagree with him about the value of judges who adjudicate from the perspective of the weak and not from the strong, I know I push back at language like this.  The right people? That’s where this whole mess started.

With a new seat to be filled I find the hype over who will be nominated, who has decided already they won’t allow a nomination, who would be a right fit to ensure certain agendas are realized – well it is beyond the pale offensive to me.  Both sides of the aisles up and down.

I do trust God’s will be done.  On earth, as heaven.  I am not sure God will not let us just continue to make a mess and sometimes a mockery of our court.  I am sure He will intervene in the lives affected by whatever decisions come down from the human institution.

As I believe He did with Carrie Buck.

Praise Him.

Thursday Daily Office Lectionary: AM Psalm 69:1-23(24-30)31-38; PM Psalm 73
Exod. 1:6-22; 1 Cor. 12:12-26; Mark 8:27-9:1

[1] Image found on Google images in a But God search, illustration by Chris Haines

 

 

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Don’t panic, be still. God’s called you to this

Posted on February 27, 2016 by Trinity Seasons

The rector with whom I am blessed to be serving often reminds the people that the two most important days in one’s life are not their birthday and the day they die – as most will reply when asked –  but the day they were born and the day they knew their purpose for being born – knew who they were called to be. He encourages everyone to think about that day believing we each have one ordained by the Lord, God, suggesting that once discerned, ones’s life gets going – the second half of life no matter the age.

He cites by way of example, many of the everyday saints we commemorate in Holy Women, Holy Men. Just this week it was Emily Malbone Morgan who after making considerable pastoral visits to home-bound friends realized that  “her “greatest desire had (sic) always been to make tired people rested and happy.”  This lead her to establish houses throughout the northeastern United States where working class women (textile workers, primarily) and their children could vacation. Retreat centers throughout the northeast bear the mark of Emily Morgan to this day.

Emily Morgan heard her call and identified her purpose and her second half of life began.

JonahA far cry from Jonah.  Jonah -as in the belly of the fish Jonah?  Yes.  It is what came to mind at today’s gospel.  Jonah was called by the Lord mid way through life – given his purpose as God purposed him. But Jonah had different ideas – a different career path in mind.  A better plan. Than God’s.  Yes he did – thought he knew better who he was to be.

At one point in his fleeing the call, he finds himself on a boat – like Jesus today, in a boat.   But Jonah is the wrong boat – not the one the Lord had purposed him to board.  He was headed to Tarshish and not Nineveh where the Lord had called him to minister.

Pursing his own call – his own agenda, climbing ladders to this this or that of his own choosing. Playing by the rules of the first half of life. Just pursuing the wrong thing. But God…

But God….One pastor I know says these are the best words in scripture for showing who is in control in all of salvation history.  Aways something providential follows those two words that changes the course for any in the story.

And so, here. But God intervenes to mix things up for Jonah and his grand escape plans.

There is a storm.  And Jonah’s traveling companions come to him – wake him up – blame him for the storm.  Jonah’s response?  Hey just throw me over – throw me off the boat and the sea will calm,

Jonah 1:11 Then they said to him, “What shall we do to you, that the sea may quiet down for us?” For the sea was growing more and more tempestuous. 12 He said to them, “Pick me up and throw me into the sea; then the sea will quiet down for you; for I know it is because of me that this great storm has come upon you.” 13 Nevertheless the men rowed hard to bring the ship back to land, but they could not, for the sea grew more and more stormy against them. 14 Then they cried out to the Lord, “Please, O Lord, we pray, do not let us perish on account of this man’s life. Do not make us guilty of innocent blood; for you, O Lord, have done as it pleased you.” 15 So they picked Jonah up and threw him into the sea; and the sea ceased from its raging.

Quite different than the response Jesus gave when caught in a similar boat – the one in today’s gospel.

Be StillHis traveling companions wake him with the same level of concern and anxiety as Jonah’s shipmates.  But they don’t blame Jesus for the storm and Jesus doesn’t assume anything close to blame.  No, the friends just want Jesus to make it stop. They ask him to calm the storm.

38But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ 39He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm.

To get things going in our life, as my colleague says, a person has to accept and respond to the call put upon them – live into it.  Don’t run from it. Don’t deny. Don’t beat up on yourself and when storms come, don’t look at them as an excuse to fall into the unworthy pattern of  ‘woe is me’ and jump ship.  Stay the course.

Chaos and storms and uncertainty and disorientation and unsettledness are sure to be part of the mix when you land on your purpose. Can’t be avoided – shouldn’t be avoided  – or trigger some panic attack that causes you to retreat into the familiar for familiar’s sake. This isn’t the way to locating your purpose.  You can’t move forward to your second half of life (again no matter your age) if you jump ship.  You just take the storm with you, as Jonah did.  It may have calmed things down for his traveling companions, but the storm still brewed in Jonah.

Jesus in any storm will not be made anxious, doesn’t panic.  He takes us through the storms.  Too, Jesus shows us how to navigate them ourselves when the time comes.

I think that quiet confidence he shows us in calming the storm is how we are to be.  What Jesus speaks to the storm –  ‘Peace! Be still!’ is just what I believe we must fight to do when we realize we are fighting a call, a purpose, a new  direction for the second half of our lives.

Be still.  Pause.  Breathe.  Don’t jump ship.  Don’t retreat into your own insecurities.  Don’t go back. This is the moment to embrace your anxiety and face it with Him.  Why has God put you in this storm?  For what purpose? What are you to be in this season of your life?

Be still. Hear what the Spirit is saying. Don’t miss this.  God has a plan for you.

Be still, loved one.

Praise Him.

 

Friday Daily Lectionary Readings:

AM Psalm 95 [for the Invitatory] 69:1-23(24-30)31-38; PM Psalm 73
Gen. 43:1-15; 1 Cor. 7:1-9; Mark 4:35-41

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Not in our imagination, not in a formula either: Both And – the third way – is the way to know God’s Word

Posted on February 23, 2016 by Trinity Seasons

Genesis 41:17Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘In my dream I was standing on the banks of the Nile;18and seven cows, fat and sleek, came up out of the Nile and fed in the reed grass. 19Then seven other cows came up after them, poor, very ugly, and thin. Never had I seen such ugly ones in all the land of Egypt.20The thin and ugly cows ate up the first seven fat cows, 21but when they had eaten them no one would have known that they had done so, for they were still as ugly as before. Then I awoke. 22I fell asleep a second time* and I saw in my dream seven ears of grain, full and good, growing on one stalk, 23and seven ears, withered, thin, and blighted by the east wind, sprouting after them; 24and the thin ears swallowed up the seven good ears. But when I told it to the magicians, there was no one who could explain it to me.’

I missed the daily office yesterday, so this morning decided to start out in the Genesis passage above before turning to today’s. Didn’t get any further than here.

I dream. A lot. And I usually recall my dreams a few times a week and spend a few minutes in the morning thinking about the people that appeared or the circumstances. I’ve learned through some dream work in years past to associate rather than translate, literally. So though I may dream of a certain person, it is often not the case that the ideas associated in the dream with that person is what my dream was really about.

The Genesis dream account from above is packed with numbers – almost to the point of distraction.   Seven, in this particular passage. Numbers appear in a number (pun intended) of biblical dreams and prophecies.

I don’t think I can recall any dream I have ever had that contains such specificity when it comes to numbers. Three apples might show up in a dream, but if I were recalling my dream to someone to help me understand ‘what the spirit was saying to me’ I think it unlikely I would report “3 apples” – more likely I would say, “some apples were on the table in the kitchen.”

So. Numbers. Is their appearance in biblical dreams and in prophecy an indication – a clue or tip off  –  that God is communicating something about His will and plan that we are to comprehend, numerically?  By any measure, God’s people have been more than fascinated with the numbers that appear in the bible.  Many have devoted their lives to linking sevens, fours, one,  twelves, threes found in scripture to relay a deeper meaning or message from the Holy Spirit. How many times has the formula for end times been extracted from scripture based on how many this or how many that only to be eclipsed by -well – reality – not formulas or inventions or our making? Is there something to be ‘discovered’ in the numbers that appear in biblical dreams and prophecies? Or is it possible readers invent theories – end times for examples – that accommodate the numbers that are there?

god-info-cartoon-piraro-bizarrocomicblogspotIs God a mathematician? Maybe an invention of our minds, as Dan Piraro suggests in his illustration to the left?

That was the title of a book by astronomer Mario Livio who, though not an atheist, is not a believer in the creator God and leans toward the side of the equation that puts God in our minds – our consciousness.

Nonetheless, I got something out his book that has some application I think, to the way we read scripture – numbers and all.

Where Livio caught my attention was in his explanation of an ongoing dispute amongst mathematicians and scientists about the role of the human mind-   our consciousness – in the mystery of life and the universe.

A centuries old dispute among mathematicians and scientists is whether or not math is discovered or invented.[1] Plato introduced the ‘discovered’ theory first, establishing it as the operating theory for mathematics. Truth is out there in the universe, and mathematicians and scientists discover it. Galaxies are newly discovered – they’ve always been there – but they are not invented.

bachAs these mathematicians talk about discovering rather than inventing great equations, Bach – arguably the most brilliant composer of all time –  set out to discover the musical rules behind the universe – he never purported to invent them.

The other theory – that mathematics is invented – is a newer, but still centuries old, theory. It tends today to be embraced by many in neuroscience. This theory goes that there is no such thing as one truth hanging out in the universe and instead what we know is all a construct and invention of the human mind. We make up the rules, we decide how to play the game. Like chess in some ways is the theory of invention vs. discovery. For example, imaginary numbers. You take the square root of minus one and well – there is no such number – so mathematicians invented a new concept and denoted this concept – the square root of minus one – with an “i.” SqRt-Minus-OneOnce this concept was invented, mathematicians started to discover all kinds of relations with this imaginary number. So – discover was in essence, forced upon by virtue of inventing a new concept.

Ok. So this debate is ongoing because it is either-or. Black or white.

But some leading mathematicians have concluded it does not have to be asked or answered in this way . That mathematics is BOTH AND – that mathematics is a complex mixture of inventions and discovery, interacting in the ways of mystery as much as in the way of empirical observation.

BOTH AND. Amen, brother! Black and white just does not cut it in science or theology. There is just too much evidence to the contrary. When we read God’s Word through this black-white lens, what are we missing? Not the gray, fuzzy, area – not a compromised ‘word’ but something much deeper, I think.

The third way.  That is the way of Jesus.  That is the way of the world, of God’s world. Both and.

Insisting on a Word being one way or another, of numbers meaning specifically one thing or another – well – it seems so much not the point.  Just as I got distracted in the Genesis reading by the ‘seven’ I think many Christians get distracted by details in scripture that prove or disprove some ‘thing’.

Big picture and Both And always win the day with me.

Praise Him.

Tuesday Lectionary Readings: AM Psalm 61, 62; PM Psalm 68:1-20(21-23)24-36
Gen. 42:1-17; 1 Cor. 5:1-8; Mark 3:19b-35

 

 

 

[1] All of this information is culled from the book, Is God a Mathematician by Mario Livio and a broadcast interview he did with Krista Tippett last year on the podcast OnBeing.org

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Heart burn-out or burning for Jesus?

Posted on February 5, 2016 by Trinity Seasons

Burnout or burning zealRecently I had a conversation with a priest about not-so-knew research describing the increase of pastors identifying with a PTSD diagnosis – Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome among Pastors. She was wondering about her own choices in ministry and thought she might have landed on an explanation for why so much of her 20-year run had been fruitful only in certain seasons. Though she is young enough to keep going for another 15 years, she wonders if she can.  She is disgruntled with the demands of others on her time, laments that she never got things right between ministry and home life.  She wonders if she has it in her to keep at this.

In her voice I could feel her fatigue. Sadness. Resignation. It made me sad, for her.  But also a bit annoyed, frankly.

The church is populated with a lot of burnt-out priests. Priests who have had enough and who blame their burn-out on the way they did – or did not do – ministry.  Blame being the operative word.

And zeal.  Zeal for ministry, as in, “My zeal for your house has eaten me up,”  as it appears in Psalm 69:

10 Zeal for your house has eaten me up; *

the scorn of those who scorn you has fallen upon me.

11 I humbled myself with fasting, *

but that was turned to my reproach.

12 I put on sack-cloth also, *

and became a byword among them.

Reads rather like a badge of honor, actually.

But zeal for God’s house causing scorn?  Or worse, burn-out, or worse yet, trauma?

Post traumatic stress disorder among pastors is real. Many longitudinal studies have been done tracking the lives of those choosing a religious vocation and recent research validates the increase in PTSD in this population.

Ok. It is legit. But.

Could claiming a “zeal for ministry” as the reason for scorn or burn-out also be a scape goat – a way of denying culpability – a measly excuse for leaving ministry?

This is what was I heard/read at the verses above:

Because of my zeal for you God, because I gave everything to you and God’s church, because I donned a collar, served at the table several times a week, preached on holidays of all things, administered a parish, fund-raised, because I wrote theological and pastoral letters to the people you gave me to minister to, regularly, because I visited the prisoner, the ailing, the widow, whenever they called – because of my zeal for you and for ministry, I burned-out. I may be a workaholic, but at least I am a righteous one!

Not.  No one who is over-working in the church should take umbrage in the collar, justifying their dysfunction as righteous.  Blaming burn-out, stress, trauma, on ‘zeal’ for the gospel – on the work some are called to do in Jesus’ name – whether the priest or the priest’s family  – is just misguided,  an excuse allowing the burned-out person or their spouse or family member to assume no responsibility.

Priests who burn out don’t get there overnight. Anymore than a stockbroker, a teacher, a spouse, a government worker, a writer, a small business owner. Burn-out amongst those in a religious vocation is not distinguished by the kind of work they do versus others. The dysfunction is within the person. We are not known to God and to others by what we do, but who we are called to be, and then do. And all to His glory, not ours.

If someone reaches the end of the line burned-out or worse diagnosed with PTSD, something was wrong from the beginning. And not with the vocation, itself. Take that same burned-out person and put him or her in a different vocation, and my guess is the same patterns repeat. We each can identify people in our lives who fall in this category – the workaholic.  A wide range of occupations are most likely represented.

A  ‘workaholic’ (a person who compulsively works hard and long hours) appear to be addicted to their work.  Along the lines of alcoholism.  Alcoholics are addicted to liquor.

But people addicted to any substance  – liquor, work, drugs, the internet – continue not for the specific substance but for the escape provided by the substance.  That’s the dysfunctional part.

In the church, if a priest does not establish healthy boundaries at the beginning of his or her ministry, they are at risk for setting in motion dysfunctional patterns that will quickly lead to burn out.

Somewhat counter-intuitively I don’t think the boundaries are first established between work and home, especially in vocations that could be lived into 24/7, such as ministry, but also doctors, public defenders, therapists, protective services (military, police, firefighters) and others.

Rather the boundaries I am thinking of need to be established in the self first, and then in the workplace.  A burnt-out priest is one who entered ministry believing it was all in his or her hands, and left not enough space and room for God to move.

Church leadership that is centered on the priest – either on the personality of the priest or the functionality of the priest (they do it all) is dysfunctional leadership.  In the Episcopal tradition the danger is not so much in the first category of personality-based leadership dysfunction, but instead, the latter ‘priest-do-it-all’ dysfunction.

Many priests enter ministry with every intention of living into the zeal for the gospel, for God’s church, but end up doing it all.  And some find refuge in this – a safe, righteous harbor.  A place to “be” in the world as defined by what they “do” in the world.  Loved for what they do for the church.  Affirmed.  Those that end up doing it all in a church find it a worthy escape from the machinations of life outside the church where they are at risk for being known as something more than what they do.

And there are other dysfunctional consequences to a person becoming enmeshed with his or her vocation, based on her  ‘zeal’ for ministry and drive to ‘do it all.’  Immersing oneself in work for all the wrong reasons leads to a lack of engagement in the away-from-work time at home.  A person’s world becomes bifurcated, not integrated, and in ministry  – well – this is pretty untenable.

In the church, I observe that priests who establish healthy boundaries, who lead by empowering others, who share their ministry at the table and the pulpit, and understand themselves to be one of the priesthood of all believers are the ones least likely to ever ‘burn-out.’

Trust is at the core of this kind of leadership in a church. If a priest trusts themselves more than the ‘other’ – if they think it is their zeal for ministry that distinguishes them from those she or he has been called to lead, then they are thinking too kindly of themselves and their heart for Jesus might just lead to heart burn-out.

So.  PTSD among Pastors?  Surely.  Burn-out?  Absolutely. But.  Maybe those who find themselves settling into either one of these as an explanation for what has past, should go deeper before making decisions about the future – about moving forward – or not – in ministry. Maybe the research my friend cited offers an explanation, but should it serve as an excuse to just stay put? To settle with a sigh into same ol, same ol?  Don’t think you have enough in you to keep at it? Maybe instead of pointing to the high incidence of burn out as an excuse – saying you aren’t that unlike all other pastors – go behind the numbers.  Get curious. Dig deeper.  Find out what brought you to this point, and then make a change.

Look inside.  What is it about you that set in motion a ministry that had some seasons of fruitfulness but in the end seems to have left a bitter-sweet taste in your mouth? How much longer will you continue to blame your zeal for the gospel -your passion for God’s Word – for your troubles?  At what point will you hold yourself accountable and then change that part of you that didn’t trust God enough to give him room to move you, give breath to your ministry? How many people crossed your paths that God sent to help you out? To share the pulpit?  The table? How many times did God open a door for you that you yourself chose to shut?

Psalm 69 ends with praise and thanksgiving.  That’s the beauty of the psalms. The Holy Spirit brings some real work-it-through stuff about life – today about how one’s zeal for God’s church can lead some who are called to ministry into unhealthy relationships with the parishes they are called to lead and then at the same time, calm us with the assurance of his love in such time of affliction. God loves and trusts us – dysfunction and all – so much, seeking only thanksgiving:

31 As for me, I am afflicted and in pain;
your help, O God, will lift me up on high.

32 I will praise the Name of God in song;
I will proclaim his greatness with thanksgiving.

33 This will please the Lord more than an offering of oxen, *
more than bullocks with horns and hoofs.

Praise Him.

Friday Lectionary Readings: M Psalm 69:1-23(24-30)31-38; PM Psalm 73
Gen. 24:1-27; Heb. 12:3-11; John 7:1-13

 

 

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Leaning in when all you want to do is run away

Posted on January 31, 2016 by Trinity Seasons

I didn’t get past the first psalm reading this morning, it echoed so closely to the lament heard from a colleague just yesterday. A colleague who for all intents and purposes seemed to have all her ducks in a row. A colleague brave and wise enough to know to seek prayer and counsel from me and others because ‘they weren’t’ – the ducks weren’t all in a row and she is just a mess, inside. One thing after another has come her way and though she appeared to be tackling each challenge full on, the truth is she is barely hanging on, rightly angry, and discouraged, close to being overwhelmed and incapacitated.  And close, I thought, to throwing her hands up  – and not to – God.  Giving up on her faith as a way forward, rather than leaning into it as a way out of the mess.

I heard her lament, hugged her, prayed for God’s pax to come to her – the peace that passes understanding, and left our small group session feeling at a loss for words.  I might be close too, to giving up rather than leaning in were I faced with the same challenges.

I went to bed with a petition for the right words or some brilliant idea for how she could untangle and manage and get the ducks back in a row – as the google image here illustrates  – something to help her get her head out of the water.  DucksInARow

So, this morning, when Psalm 55 popped up and I heard first my friend’s lament echoing throughout, I felt as if my prayer had been answered. I had prayed for discernment – for words of counsel – for some words that would reassure and ease her distress and my prayer for those words were here before me.

Or were they. For someone so distressed – as distressed as the psalmist – for someone inclined to distance themselves rather than lean into God – how would this lament possibly comfort let alone encourage or nudge them forward?

Then, I recalled Charles – an elderly, widowed, childless ‘Mainer’. He lied in Room 284 at Central Main hospital (CMCC) where I did my chaplaincy training a few summers back. One day I stopped by to find him alone in the room. He had just been told that not one but four dark spots were seen on his lungs.  Cancer.  He had decided against the long needle aspiration test that would confirm lung cancer – because, well, what would be the point.  Radiation was not in the cards.  He smiled at me from his bed – “Even though my insides are such a mess, I kind of want to keep the outsides looking good.  Think the good Lord wants me to go out that way, too.”

I smiled back.  He was a good looking man – on the outside – and even though the cancer loomed inside, his insides were really all right, too.  He had a real peace about him that he hadn’t had the first time we met.

The first day I met Charles he had just been checked into the hospital for tests after having passed out on a construction site job. I was new to a chaplaincy training program at the hospital and came into his room as a sort of cold-call in my rounds to meet the new patients on the floor where I was assigned.

Charles was a strapping, even healthy looking, lumberjack-built man in his late 70’s. Which contrasted sharply with his demeanor. There, in bed, sitting straight up but weeping –  having just learned that one spot had been found. His insides were a mess. Literally.  That bad news had opened up a flood gate and he was desperate to talk with someone.  He was scared.  A spot on his lung. He sought my ear. My counsel. Lamented with me.

Charles had a strong, abiding faith.  He knew his bible. Started to wonder with me about why God did this or that.  This mess inside of him, how was he to deal with it because after all that he had been through – well – he wasn’t going to add anything to the mix that wouldn’t allow him to keep living ‘naturally,’ as he said.  That was in the bible, wasn’t it? he asked? Don’t put chemicals in your body – or something along those lines.

I couldn’t keep up with his scriptural references nor make sense of the way the bible had been taught to him, including the whole ‘if you really truly have faith, then you will be healed’ pitch that made him think he might not have been as good a Christian as he should have been so he could be healed.  So, I asked him to just tell me his story. In his own words. I was here to listen. The answers to his worries and questions would come sometime – but maybe not now.  “Maybe right now you just talk and I just listen,” I suggested.

And, so, through his tears he began to talk about his life. And why he was so sad. I heard his lament. Charles’ life not only echoed Psalm 55 but so many details read just like it, too – orphaned, one injury and loss after another, premature deaths of two children, a divorce.  And then – this man of steadfast faith experienced the deepest of betrayals. A person of God – a pastor – told him find another church because he was divorcing.

This was a deep blow to Charles – a betrayal as described in the psalm.  His first reaction was to leave – not just that church, but church-going, altogether.  He wouldn’t participate in bible studies, wouldn’t go to worship, wouldn’t do any church-y things.

But he wouldn’t stop praying.  As angry and wounded as he was with God and the pastor of God’s church, Charles wouldn’t let ‘them’ or circumstances take his faith from him.

Like Job.  Pretty angry with God and all that God seemed to have done to him, but praying to Him, nonetheless.  Charles found himself talking to God more and more.  He leaned in. He prayed more.  Settled for a season in the psalter, carving out a time every day just to rant at God. He found new people who wanted to talk about this God and eventually a new worship community.

Even with the push out of the small-God church he had been a part of, Charles did not distance himself from God or from the Word. He leaned in. His faith not weakened, but strengthened. He knew he was in God’s hands then – and now, here, he paused to say while telling his story – all of which had been told through tears  and had been painful to listen to in some ways as he lamented his newly diagnosed fate – but he paused at the end, smiled and said, “I am in God’s hand’s right now, here in this moment.  I am not scared.  I have cast my burdens to the Lord, and I know he will see me through. Even this.”

I came home from work that day and recorded Charles’ story in my scriptural journal. And the next day, low and behold, the first psalm of the day was Psalm 55. And I remembered then, as I do now, that it was at the last verses where the answer to the lament is found.

22  Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Charles had leaned in, once again, when all on the inside was destroying him, literally killing him. But he was not moved.  That righteous man was not moved.

Fast forward to this morning, and waking to this psalm after having gone to bed with a prayer for the right words for my colleague.  My encounter with Charles prepared me in a way I hadn’t realized at the time for hearing what the Lord would say to my colleague.

No magic formula for untangling the mess inside. No easy move of one duck here or there to get everything lined up.

Lean in. Now more than ever.  Go to God’s word – more.  Pray – more.  Worship – more. Cry out – more.  Trust and know that you are in God’s hands.  And he will sustain you.

Praise Him.

Here is a lovely musical interpretation of Psalm 55 by Hope Music Worship.

Saturday Lectionary Readings AM Psalm 55; PM Psalm 138, 139:1-17(18-23)
Gen. 18:1-16; Heb. 10:26-39; John 6:16-27

 

 

 

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